Jake and Elwood Save Christmas
by Sora-M-Jigen
Summary: And that's where the story begins; at Joliet Correctional Facility with the two boys of blues. Please Read and Review
1. No Fucking Way

**Jake and Elwood Save Christmas.  
**

**...**

**Boy what a title. XD To reassure you awesome Blues Brothers fans this fic has: NO Mary Sues, NO flames, and NO bashes. **

**This happens a bit before the movie and a bit before the night Jake gets arrested for his hold up in which it is the month of December, a bit before Christmas.**

**As for this fic, the inspiration of this happened between an RP between my friend and I as well as the Christmas spirit in the air. That and I love these guys way too much. XD Anyway, this is just the first chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it. Seasons Screamings! ^^**

**Jake belongs to John Belushi (may God have mercy on his soul) as well as Universal**

**Elwood belongs to Dan Aykroyd/Universal**

**The Penguin belongs to Universal**

**-**

**CHAPTER 1: "No Fucking Way."**

**-**

The Christmas spirit was in the air. It was obvious throughout the streets of Chicago as well as the hearts of children but there was one place in the Windy City where there was no cheer whatsoever.

And that's where the story begins; at Joliet Correctional Facility with the two boys of blues.

At the moment Jake and Elwood were walking down the halls of the prison together, they knew there was some good news and some bad news on their minds. The good news was that they were free from the Hellhole for a while but the bad news was the fact that they had to be driven and followed by a cop because they had to do community service. What a joy this would be. Working in the community with no music, no beer or playboys, no girls, no cigarettes, and lastly (which was extremely painful to Elwood) no Bluesmobile.

Upon them being given this task from the prison, both the Blues Brothers could feel their guts wrench before easing knowing that they would stick with each other as they had done so before. Even so, it wasn't that bad, by some strong persuasion they managed to obtain their raybans and fedoras as they didn't mind the prison garb.

By now the boys were in their early twenties in which Elwood's figure was enough to drive the girls insane for him, not to mention his voice on previous gigs. His eyes were hidden behind raybans in which the sun (let alone the viewing public) would never see his different shaded eyes of baby blue and hazel. Jake grew into a fine man in which he was insane for the girls, who he didn't mind showing his chocolate brown eyes to even it was for one night.

More good news came as they saw that they were given their outfits before they could speak to their new "boss" who would be in charge of all the community service they did.

Which came to them as a shock.

Rather for Jake, a near heart attack but still a shock.

"Hello, boys," said the older woman in black and white, who stood before them as a person the boys knew all too well from their pasts; the Penguin. As she smiled eerily as though to remain her kind, religious self, Jake and Elwood's faces paled one shade less than their usual complexion. They watched her moves, both frozen yet calm as they attempted to keep their cool as she observed them like a hawk. She knew why they were here to which she slapped them both with the ruler which led to their usual groans of pains which also sent streaks of memories through them as though it were yesterday when they were kids who felt the wrath of the ruler.

"It's uh....been a while," Elwood spoke in his usual Chicago accent as he straightened his tie out and pushed his shades back to the bridge of his nose. Jake nodded in agreement as he shifted in his seat, feeling like a complete ass. For he and Elwood committed the stupidest crime of all crimes; petty larceny. And all for a stupid cup of coffee due to the stupid wind which was caused by the stupid cold weather of winter. This caused Jake to sigh heavily as he thought back as to what Elwood said; it was either the slammer and getting ass raped or doing some shit for a while.

The Penguin nodded to Elwood's remark not minding Jake's action as she moved to her seat in an unnoticeably slow manner as though to tease them and make them mentally suffer as to what they would face. Upon inching a bit forward on her desk as though she were a strict principle of an ivy league school, she gave that creepy smile that sent shivers down their spines, especially Elwood's.

"I see that you boys have pleaded guilty for larceny."

"Yeah? So what's it to you," Jake asked almost roughly as it earned him a slap on the wrist with the ruler to which he groaned inwardly. Elwood shot him a look but remained stoic, knowing that would happen to Jake as he hoped it didn't happen to him as he swallowed some.

"You boys are to do community service for the orphanage," she paused as she allowed the tension and suspense to settle. "You are to bring Christmas to the orphanage, using these." At that moment she held up a Santa suit and an Elf suit in which Jake's eyes widened behind the shades just as Elwood's did. The Penguin didn't hesitate to force it on them as she smiled almost genuinely gentle and whammed the Elf suit into Elwood's form no sooner he crossed his arms tightly over his chest in protest to the outfits. Jake did the same as to which the Penguin also the did same action of forcing the Santa suit on his form. Both fought hard to suppress anger and fear as they swallowed hard before Jake spoke up in response to her idea of community service.

"No fucking way."

**THWACK!** A ruler to the wrist brought Jake back to the old days as Elwood internally flinched.

"I beg your pardon, what did you say?"

Elwood hoped that Jake wouldn't respond with his smart ass mouth but he had to go and do so to which Elwood prepared for the worse. To which Jake once again, received another slap to the wrist which caused Elwood (in an attempt to correct him) to accidentally use the Lord's name in vain which earned a slap on the wrist and so the ruler on wrist combat began to which Elwood knew better and made a dash for the door and ran out into the cop car which escorted them to the St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud to begin with. Jake followed suit as he practically threw himself into the car as they realized something: the cop that drove them there was gone.

The tallest brother smirked to himself. What a perfect escape from the wrath of the ruler.


	2. Shut Up and Drive

**CHAPTER 2! ^^ Ok this...was...well, anyone remember the Dixie Mall Car Chase scene? Yeah that's what inspired me to type this chapter...XD Anyway, I hope you enjoy and this was actually my first car chase that I've ever written and I'm kind of proud of it. **

**So enjoy and Seasons Screamings ^^**

**Elwood belongs to Dan Aykroyd/Universal**

**Jake belongs to John Belushi (may God have mercy on his soul)/Universal**

**-**

**Chapter 2: Shut Up and Drive**

**-**

Either the lazy enforcer of the law got his fat ass a doughnut but nonetheless it didn't matter as the tallest brother climbed into the driver's seat and started the car as an instant rush swam throughout Elwood's form as it entered his fingertips and resumed from there. The engine revved as it seemed to drive Elwood mad with feverish desire to drive madly all over Chicago and never stop.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MOTORHEAD!?"

Elwood answered that with a swift turn of speed as he grinned internally. What a rush. Flooring it faster they had to get back to his crammed apartment- wait, they'd know he'd be there! Another turn, knocking Jake to the other side of the car with a groan of irritation and slight anger as Elwood kept going. He needed to feel this rush again, it seemed so long and he missed it so bad. He didn't mean to harm Jake any with the fast turns, he just needed to feel this to which Jake could understand. Elwood was a madman on the road when needed be and this moment was definitely a needed be moment.

Street after street the car sped seemed to go faster and faster, not only to escape the Penguin (even though they were far from her now by a few blocks or so) but to escape the cars that now snuck up behind them as he heard it coming from the cop radio:

All units, all units please follow a stolen police vehicle; license plate number 228-5637. Suspects are claimed to be wearing a black suit, fedora, sunglasses; suspects are Jake and Elwood Blues. All units in pursuit.

'Shit!' The sirens started to wail louder; how fast were they going and how did they manage to catch up!? Jake scowled as though he heard Elwood's thoughts, they didn't pass the police station but it was on a street that they managed to pass. Nonetheless, Jake had faith in Elwood, knowing the driving skills of the taller brother and having experiencing the swift turns and tricks they caused; Jake knew they had a good chance of escape. The question was to where?

Faster. Faster. The wind seemed to cause a shrill whistle as it whizzed by the stolen police car. Even so the sirens could still be heard as Elwood clenched the wheel hard causing his knuckles to pale greatly and the letters of his name to stand out like a rose in a lily garden. This didn't concern Jake any considering he had seen this before and knew the outcome of it all; Jake and Elwood got away, got a few beers, possibly a few ladies if they were up for it and had any cash, and from there on it would be easy until the next car chase came up.

It was at then, Elwood did something a bit drastic as he muttered a prayer beneath his breath. It was ironic, they were just being beaten by a servant of God and now he was asking for a miracle; what the Hell? Nonetheless, Jake watched Elwood as he pulled a faster, more swift turn than the last ones as he floored it into a narrow alley.

By some miracle (whether it be the Lord or coincidence), they managed to slide on in as the stolen cop car seemed to gain no damage as to where some of the police cars followed. Some of the cars emitted screeches of pain as they tightly slid against the walls or the side mirrors broke off (despite the fact that they were the same model and width as the one Elwood was driving). Other cars couldn't make the turn in time and either stopped and slid or stopped on the dot, causing other police cars to wham into each other.

This caused Elwood's smirk to widen some internally in satisfaction. It wasn't a matter of him enjoying destruction and pain but rather the fact that they had outwit the supposed protectors of the law. What a joy, what a laugh to see them crashing into each other as Elwood added on more speed for his own personal pleasure of driving like a raving lunatic.

At this point on it was as if the day and glorious rays of the sun seemed to die and be swallowed within the darkness of the alley. Elwood was used to the vanished light and redeemed shadowy abyss for some reason; he was always a good driver at night considering that's when him and Jake made a good amount of their getaways. Flooring it now, it seemed as if the alley led unto a series of quick turns as they entered the back ways of Calumet City. By some chance, Elwood knew these alleys as he sped left and right; weaving his way in an attempt to rid himself of the cops.

This turning and twisting maze kept up for a while before the brothers no longer heard the sirens in the distance as they were instantly put at ease. Elwood smirked a bit coyly to prove that he had outwitted the law and beaten the cops that put him and Jake away for such a pathetic crime of larceny. Slowly he drove the stolen car up some he turned into a final turn in which this led him back to the somewhat main streets of their sweet home Chicago. He now drove the car at a regular speed for a good while before he came to abrupt stop and drove the car in a slow, near silent manner (despite the sound of tires on the street) as he slyly pulled up to a back alley near a cheap motel.

Elwood allowed Jake to get out first to which the older brother did so and remained hidden in the shadows as he watched for any suspects or personas roaming the alleys as well as the premises of the hotel. Despite the fact that Jake and Elwood acknowledged that they had beaten the cops at their own game of cops and robbers, they knew they couldn't return to their apartment considering it would be a suspected place of a return like a hideout to a thief.

As Elwood slowly drove the car to almost a nonexistent speed of zero or below, he quietly parked the car in an alley way. Putting the car in park and locking it (he didn't care if the car was stolen (again only this time by some other criminal he didn't know) despite the fact that it had grown on Elwood in a matter of short time), the tallest brother acknowledged that he and his brother could always hot wire a car and make a break for it. Even so, if no one did steal the police car the brothers could always use it to their advantage. Elwood lowered the window some as he took his time upon crawling out as if he were a blackened spider of darkness, walking out of a prey's lair and coming out as the victor of his hunting game.

Crouching on top of the car, he waited for Jake to give him the go that no one was around in which his brother did so, and Elwood climbed down as he joined Jake at his side. Knowing that they would use the hotel as their hideout they had two options: 1 - go in with a fake identity and hope that the police don't call or show and ask if anyone in black suits, fedoras, and shades had shown up; 2 - sneak in.

They confirmed this plan by subtly peeking into every window of the hotel room until they found an unused one to which Elwood removed his fedora and gave it a punch as the sound of shattering glass was slightly toned down by this. Jake kept watch over his back as Elwood unlocked the window from the inside and pushed it up some before placing his fedora back on and sliding the window up more. After this, he tapped Jake on the shoulder as Elwood climbed in first (being the skinniest of the two) and assisted Jake in.

The room was small and if anything, reminded Jake of a brothel. The carpet was a dingy brown that seemed to be a mix of trodden dirt and its' natural color as a sickly Earthy green tone cloaked the walls. There were two beds in the room with a deep mahogany shade comforter on each one as well as a pair of jade green pillows. Clearly, this hotel was going for an Earthy tone in an attempt to cover up what filth it had gained so far. The name of the hotel didn't matter to either one of them as Elwood placed his fedora on the plastic wood nightstand. It wasn't much but it would have to do for now (well, until tomorrow anyway) as Jake locked the door and looked over.

He sighed.

Elwood was out like a light.

Then again, who could blame him? After all, driving like a lunatic after God knows how long is enough to wear one out as Jake did the same actions as Elwood as he too, went out like a light.


	3. The Objects of My Persuasion

**Merry Christmas everyone! ^^ Hope you like this and please no flames or bashes**

**Elwood belongs to Dan Aykroyd/Universal Studios  
Jake belongs to John Belushi (may God have mercy and bless his soul)/Universal Studios  
Cheshite Cat (mentioning) belongs to Lewis Carol (sp?)**

-

**Chapter 3: The Objects of My Persuasion**

**-**

There were a few ways of persuading Jake to do things.

1 - Give him a playboy (girl or magazine; usually the magazine)  
2 - Give him a beer or two  
3 - Give him enough cash for a women or two or even more  
4- Give him a mix of all three

Elwood knew this by the years growing up with him as he awoke the next morning to see that the winter weather had arrived once again as he jerked the covers over his form. From what he could see, Jake was still out of it as the younger Blues Brother allowed his body to sink into the mattress. He wasn't ready to get up or was he in the mood to sleep on but his body gave in to the temptation of dreams about beautiful girls in black grooving to blues music from which numerous instruments produced.

A few hours passed.

Elwood once again awoke to find his brother still out of it as he did the usual morning routine; get up, drag self out of bed, use the damn restroom and the damn shower (which came with the cheap hotel accessories of slightly yellowed tiles in the bathroom, a slightly dirty mirror, and the occasional roach which made Elwood cringe internally as he remained his usual stoic self on the outside).

Even so, Jake was still not up. Jake proved to be a heavy sleeper over the years which would sometimes concern Elwood to see if his brother was still alive or not. Most of the time he was which gave the taller brother an enormous amount of relief. Jake meant everything to Elwood, just as much as the music in both their souls did. Without Jake or the music, there would be nothing but a mere shell of a nobody walking the streets of the world, and pondering their existence.

But now it was crunch time as Elwood had to think of how to manipulate Jake into doing the community work assigned to them by the Penguin. Now Elwood wasn't up for this work as well (just for the Elf suit as well as the fact that he didn't work that well with kids) but he figured that it was going to bite them in the ass sooner or later to which Elwood concluded that they had to do this.

Sighing now, Elwood searched through his wallet in an attempt to scrounge up some cash to get Jake's objects of persuasion. Finding about a good few bucks he figured he'd wait for Jake to get up and go out, only to surprise him with a return filled with a few items of choice. He only chose to wait for Jake to get up in case anything would happen to him and if anyone from the hotel noticed the locked door of the room to which Jake probably wouldn't notice and would therefore cause him to be busted despite the fact that Jake had a brain of a thief in which he knew how to escape from any scenario.

Elwood acknowledged this as he smirked and leaned back into a chair in the room. Knowing that possibly nothing could wake his brother up he started to blow into his harp. It was a random tune that he thought up in his mind as he played it as in a way it kind of reminded him of something Little Walter would play as his tune soon became the song 'You're So Fine.'

'You're So Fine', Elwood knew this song by the numerous times Curtis played it. It was a good song which had a good rhythm to which he tapped his foot on the floor to. Of course, Elwood knew that no one was fine. No one being that of the womanly gender to which no one gave him a jump in the bones unless it was the occasional hooker but nonetheless, even he didn't consider her fine like his brother did but then again it was probably for the sex.

It was near the end of the song before a low groan was heard as it almost sounded like a bear waking from a winter's sleep. Jake was up and Elwood stopped playing. The awakening didn't stop the music as the younger brother watched his older sibling get up and do the normal shit before telling him he was going out.

The brothers acknowledged that they were only taken out of the slammer to do the community service required for them to get out altogether but nonetheless it was a matter of once again, running from the law. Nonetheless, Elwood had to chance the fact of walking on the sidewalk or in the alleys in broad day light and being caught by a cop in order for their work to be done.

The tallest brother kept his hands in his pockets as he walked and kept to his own business considering they didn't need more shit in their lives. Elwood stuck to the shortcuts that he knew of Chicago as he took turns into alleyways as well as streets before finding the place that he was looking for: your everyday drug store.

There were a few kids outside with their hoods pilled over as Elwood paid no mind to them even though they made smart remarks about what he was wearing. By now he was used to that as he shot them a death glare through the shades to which they received this and immediately silenced themselves. Elwood smirked to himself. They called themselves gangster? He didn't believe so as he entered the drug store and browsed what it had to offer. There were the usual things of sweet treats, real food, all that crap within the aisles as Elwood paid no mind to them and merely searched for what he needed most. He managed to grab a few beers and a few magazines that would keep Jake satisfied and possibly persuaded to wear the Santa suit.

-

Jake's guard went up a bit as he saw someone attempting to enter through the broken window of the hotel room but it was instantly brought to normal as soon as he saw it was Elwood. Upon getting the full view of Elwood, he grinned like the Cheshire Cat as he noticed what his younger brother had tucked under his arm and in his hand. By now, Elwood knew that expression as he pulled back the items some teasingly which caused Jake to scowl at him like a hungry wolf in need of raw meat.

"Jake, I'll only give you this shit if you wear the suit."

"No fucking way."

Elwood knew how to get him as he opened one of the beers and started chugging. Personally, this wasn't his favorite type of beer but to get Jake to do something he would do anything. This wasn't how all things were resolved or decided, sometimes they would do what they wanted to because they knew it was right or wrong or they just felt like doing it for the Hell of it. Jake wasn't one to wear a Santa suit and Elwood wasn't one to wear an Elf suit but what had to be done had to be done and getting it done would mean any means necessary whether it be done by force or persuasion. Elwood was mostly hoping by his actions that Jake would cave into the persuasion and understand his view of the situation.

Jake was glaring at him as thoughts rushed through his head as to what would happen if he wore the suit. There could be no way that he would lose anything (except his dignity) and the fact that no one except kids would see him as well as the Penguin. The Penguin. The fat fucking Penguin would see him in the fucking suit and she would enjoy it. There would be no way in Hell he would go through with this but then again it seemed like years have passed since he had a damn good beer (especially his favorite) as well as a few good pornos. His sanity needed it. His urges needed it to which he ran to Elwood, grabbed the half chugged beer away from his lips as well as the magazines, and returned to his bed like a crab scuttling away after its' lunch.

The older brother threw himself onto the bed as he drank his share of the alcohol while getting lost (and an immediate erection) from the nudes in the magazine. The urges as well as the sanity began to recover as he allowed himself to relax some. As much as music was an important thing to both brothers, sometimes it was good to unwind with a few of the cheap things like the magazines and beer. Nonetheless, Elwood smirked. He won. Now it was just a matter of putting on the suits that would cost them their dignity.


End file.
